Out Walked A Cowman

My back story for the character Cowman from Armando Valenzuelas web comic www.atomiclaundromat.com


Carl Bovidaer,A brilliant geneticist on the quest to make the perfect cow. An accident causes one of the cow clones to grow as just a skin suit. But something was wrong,the skin was Alive.It’s brain had permeated every cell in it’s body.It had telepathic power and It desired more than to be locked away in a freezer, it wanted to be free to live life.But it needed a host,both to feed on their living energy and to move.

It used It’s power to call out to Carl, luring him in, telling him that if he would wear him he could make him feel unbound ecstasy by stimulating his brain. Carl quickly became addicted and obsessed with the suit.The company he worked for canceled his project when he failed to meet his deadline and they began to remove his research and clean out he lab.When they tried to take the suit he flew into a rage,Knocking over a large cabinet he crushed a member of the clean up crew.

As the crew called for security the suit began to talk to him “Now you’re a murderer, you’re going to jail for life.But I can help you,Put me on and I can help you escape.”

The crew tried to calm him down “Mr.Bovidaer it’s going to be all right,No one is going to hurt you it’s ok..”

“Just give me the suit!” Carl yelled,brandishing a cattle prod.He walked over and put on the suit.He backed out the door keeping the crew at bay with the prod.

“Now into the lab next door”The suit told him

“But I don’t have the code”Carl said

“I’ve been reading the other researchers minds,the code is 56827.They are working on a new self-contained Quad Laser system.You’re going to need it to get out of here alive.”

Carl entered to room and found the device.”It looks complicated” said Carl.

“I know how to use it,just put it in my udders,point at the wall and let me take care of the rest.” the suit said.

Carl stuffed the laser into the suit and within seconds the walls were blown to pieces and they were outside. the suit was overjoyed not only with its new-found freedom but also its new power.

“Oh..What am I going to do” Carl said”I can’t go home..I don’t have any money..”

“We can steal some” the suit whispered

“..Oh God! I just killed a man..I..I Can’t do this..I need to turn myself in..”

“NO! You had to do it ,they were trying to separate us,They were going to kill me.If you turn your self in they’ll destroy me and lock you away.What good will that do?Will it bring that man back to life?” the suit said

“No.” Carl replied

“But if you listen to me we can live like kings,and that will make me happy and if you keep me happy then I’ll keep you happy.” the suit said as he flooded Carls brain with all manner of feel good brain chemicals. “you wouldn’t want me to stop making you feel like this do you?

“No! Please don’t stop,I’ll do what ever you say.Where..Where should we go next?”

“Lets start with a trip to the bank…”

Published in: on January 22, 2011 at 12:28 AM  Comments (5)  
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Pardon Our Dapper Dust

You walk down the street and notice that something is being constructed on the lot that had been empty for years.It’s nothing but metal beams right now but you peek through a hole in the fence anyway and see four finely dressed gentlemen arguing about how to use a rivet gun.

“I told you it wasn’t as easy as it looks.Your always such a hard-headed fool James. “says the one in the Top Hat

” Oh shut up Richard, I think I have it now.Look i just put a rivet though my shoe!..Oh dear…” Says the large one in the fedora that now has a rivet in his foot

“Can’t we just get the workers back? Giving them free doughnuts every day is surely worth it so we don’t have to be out in this Intolerable heat.” Says the small frail looking one in the derby hat.

” I think I’m feeling a bit faint..” Says James

“Your right Danny we do need the workers back,we’ll never get the site done at this rate.But I think we should get James to a doctor first to get that rivet out.” Says the tall one in a flat cap with an Irish accent

“Miles I told you not to call me ‘Danny‘,my name is ‘Daniel’,’Danny‘ is a name for commoners.” Says Daniel

“MY fathers name was Danny and if you insult his good name again I’ll drive You through James foot.” Says Miles

“Must you two always argue like school children,it’s not suited to men of our stature.Why if someone were to see I think I would have to die from the shame of it all.” says Richard


“Now look what you two have done” Miles Says” your pretentiousness has made poor James faint.Come on lads, help me pick him up so we can carry him to the doctors”

“But his bloody foot might stain my suit” Says Richard

“And this heat has weakened me so.I’m afraid I won’t be of much use.” Says Daniel

“Fine,I’ll do it myself” Says Miles, as he throws James over his shoulder and they all to walk out of the gate.

You decide to continue your walk but first you look around to see if you can find anything that says what is being built here.All you find is a worn out sign that you can barely read.You think it says something about free storiesĀ  and decide to make a note of the address encase anything ever becomes of it.

Published in: on July 16, 2010 at 5:58 PM  Leave a Comment  
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